Tag: mind.

So Satan Said

No,

I will take revenge.
I will go to your humans.
I will make them mine.
I will control them.
I will enter their minds.
I will penetrate their desires and I will mould them against your wishes.
I will occupy their hearts, I will rule their minds, I will make their souls mine.
I will suck all goodness out of them.
I will hypnotise them with evil.
I will deceive them in the sweetest ways.
I will mislead them in the most trustful ways.
I will attack them, in the most pleasant ways.
I will come at them from every direction.
I will knot their necks. I will blind their hearts. I will poison their blood.
I will consume them. From above, below, behind. From the front, and both sides.
I will addict them to myself.
I will threaten them. I will frighten them. I will love them.
I will take a million forms, and each will be a facade.
I will seem to them what they need, while being the opposite.
I will become their god. I will take them from you.
I will invite them, they will respond.
I will make them mine.
I will take revenge.

For they are clay, and I am fire.
I will not prostrate to them.
For they are clay, and I am fire.

I am fire.
I am fire.
I am fire.
I am fire.
I am fire.
I am fire.

Yes. And in fire you shall burn.

generic-fire

~Moniba.

[Intimacy]

Where are you, he said
Her mind echoed the question
To her Self.

Where am I, she said
Her conscience echoed the question
To her heart.

Where am I, it said
Her heart echoed the question
To her Creator.

It’s funny, she thought
How an external question
Reaches such intimate depths.

War: the heart, the mind, the conscience

What do you do
When your heart yearns for one thing
And your brain wants another?
You listen a little bit to both.
But what do you do
When it is your heart that is in dispute
A half wants one thing
And the other wants another
Is it better to do then neither
Or is it better to mute them both
And listen to the conscience?

What do you do
When your conscience goes to war
With your heart and your mind?
You listen to the majority.
But what do you do
When you know the minority to be true
Because in fact, the heart is forever
In love with the conscience.
It is the mind, the mind it is
That tricks the heart
Into believing that
It is in quarrel with the conscience.

So what do you do, really?
You be a good human
And listen to the conscience.

~Moniba.

I and Myself [Part 1] : Discovery

“My Self argues with me, that it can not live with Me, unless I change my Self.”

I drift in dreams…moniba 341
I feel myself
I relax
I’m in my world now
There’s no one to judge
There’s no one to look
There’s no one
To disrupt my peace
To kill my dreams
Inside of a dream

I drift in dreams
I relax
There’s no one here
It’s just me
But then I think
It’s harder to deal with
Myself
Than it is
To deal with
Everyone else

I judge myself
Harsher than anybody else
I criticize myself
In harder ways than anybody else
I rebuke myself
The way nobody ever can
I depress myself
As no-one ever has
I cause myself
To break apart….!!

So I force myself
To wake up
And then sentence myself
To nights as restless
As realities in dreams
I shy away
From dreams as well
As I shy away
From reality

Lost times, lost people

I have a friend. She holds on to stuff. To the past. She saves them and looks after them as if her life depended upon them. She doesn’t let anyone throw them away. Not even when her drawers have no more space in them. No, the past stays with her. I ask her, why? And she says, well she doesn’t say but I assume, that it’s because she feels if she throws the stuff away, they’ll take the memories with them. As if throwing them away will somehow lessen their importance. And even if there is no significance to the memory, if the object tends to make her even a little bit nostalgic, she’s keeping it. So you can imagine, all sorts of scraps of paper, and beads, and diaries, and threads, and buttons, and letters, and small things are stuffed in that drawer. Paper chats from school days, and college days, letters from friends, acquaintances and relatives, useless drawings and doodles by self or friends… Diaries full of offending comments by people, lovely text messages, amazing narrations of amazing events, memorable conversations with random or dear people… You name it, it’s there.

I find her habit rather silly. Because I believe we should let go. We can only start living today if we let go of yesterday. It is true that our yesterdays make our todays, but that does not mean that we start giving them so much significance that they slowly and eventually seep into our todays in ways that may affect our tomorrows.

I used to be like that too. Saving pieces of paper, tissue, and filling up diaries of events that may or may not matter and then save them, keep them dear to life. But I realized then,  that those things are only cluttering my mind and cupboards. That I need to clear space to let new experiences take their place. That I need to let go of people and make space for those who might actually matter. So I cleared up the boxes, emptied the cupboards, and threw away the useless scraps of paper. I am currently in the process of clearing my mind too. Erasing negative emotions is proving to be very hard. And letting go of people? Lets just say… It’s too easy to let go of some, and way too hard to let go of some others. And it isn’t possible to just tell yourself to hate one and love another. Not if the heart isn’t willing to. But that wasn’t really the point of this post.

The point is, it’s good to de-clutter.

Prejudice against Psychology

psychology-science-bannersAs the university admissions near, i’m getting a lot of questions about what i’m going to pursue. I used to say i’m going to major in Psychology, but I know better now. The reactions that people here give me are rather prejudiced, and unexpected.  They say, why would you want to major in psychology?? You’ll become a psycho studying it. And while many of them mean it as a joke, some say it quite seriously. They say most psychologists we’ve seen become mentally ill themselves. And that results in me explaining to them the difference between psychology and psychiatry.

It’s true that sometimes a psychologist is influenced by his patient’s illness, but that only happens out of serious concern, and is not permanent. It  does not mean that the psychologist himself has got that illness. Psychologists are actually very helpful to the world. Studying psychology has always been an interest for me since i’m very curious about the mind.

And that’s what psychology is. The study of mind and behaviour. Getting to know humanity. understanding people. Finding out what causes emotional and psychological stress in people. What the root cause of their stress is. Finding out what makes for better mental development. How much our physical state affects our mental state. What triggers emotions. What makes for a better learner…. The subject is so vast, that it has not even been given a very definite definition yet. Though I think it would be most appropriate to define  it as the study of mind and behaviour. It’s a vast enough definition and covers the scope of the subject.

So with the subject being that vast, it really isn’t fair to judge it based on one small part of it. Psychology aims for better mental experiences, and health. And it has gained quick acceptance all over the world, people are fascinated by it’s subject matter. It’s the key to knowing and possibly even controlling human minds, though the controlling aspect might make it sinister. If you know psychology, you’ll know how to handle people better, you’ll be able to handle personal traumas better, you’ll be able to help others handle them. You will be able to love people better by understanding them. You’ll know to hate for the right reasons.

One problem that I’ve noticed many people have with psychology students-and I say students because I think professional psychologists are better able to contain themselves and know to keep their analyzing minds to the office and refrain from judging- is that they start trying to analyze everyone they interact with. They start trying to study them and their situations. Well cut them some slack, I say. They’re only exploring their subject. Everyone does it. You learn something new, you try to find it in society. You develop an interest in a subject, you try to study it in depth in real life. And if that subject is psychology, then our laboratories are your minds. And our own minds too.

Of course, I admit, it must be frustrating to know you’re being analyzed, maybe judged too. And it probably doesn’t feel nice. But that’s how the developing psychologist learns his limits. Learns to control his curiosity, his power. And by all means, tell him off if it gets too creepy!

Another thing, we Muslims are prejudiced against the subject because of some psychologists like Freud I think. But hey, we can’t alter theories if we don’t get into the subject and introduce better ones, now can we?

Here I will end my rant, or justification, or explanation-call it what you may. It felt nice to say this, though I see I got slightly carried away up there.

Unwanted Guests of the Nights

At night they make their way7770531252_1e43282d92
Into the recesses of my mind
Chiding me, shaming me, rewarding me.

These thoughts, they do not rest
Finding ways of crawling back
Taunting me, reminding me, hurting me.

They form a never-ending chain
Unbroken by new beginnings
Haunting me, and bringing me
Back to Reality!…

~Moniba.

Darkness

When I look out the window… I see serenity. I see stars, I see plants. I see the dark, I see the light.

Sometimes the light appeals to me, sometimes the dark mesmerizes me and holds my gaze.

I stare at it, so pure, It sucks me in…

And surprisingly, the darkness helps me clear my mind…. Of itself.