The Conscience: “You shall surrender”

If you don’t listen to it, it’ll pull at you.
You’ll try to get free but it’ll be everywhere.
You’ll try sating it with small morsels but it will not be fooled.
You’ll resort to ignoring it then but it’s cleverer than you know. After all, it has had a good teacher.
You’ll try negotiating terms with it, try to win it over, but it will not budge.
You’ll try presenting justifications to it, in vain.
You’ll plead to it then, to let you be, try explaining your helplessness, but it will not listen, it will not soften. If anything, it’ll become more persistent.
You’ll try burying it, and bury it you will. You will succeed. You will not hear it after that. But it’ll leave a nagging feeling behind. Discomfort, unease, a black hole-a void.
Bury it you will, but at the price of your character. Of your morality. Of your good sense. Bury it you will, but at the price of the one rock you could always count on to point you in the right direction.
And even then, you will be forced at one point, to dig it out from where you buried it…
It will not leave you be.
In the end, you will surrender. You will submit.
You will attain peace.
If only you had done this all those years ago.

~Moniba.

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6 thoughts on “The Conscience: “You shall surrender”

  1. we say this is deep to writings which have big words or extraordinary cliches but this is just pure and simple and yet yes so deep… now whoever reads it will try to decipher it in their own way but can you please elaborate what you are referring to here so that we can get the exact message which this poem conveys… its just my curiosity 🙂

  2. In the end, you will surrender. You will submit.
    You will attain peace.

    True?

    It seems to me a lot of people spend their entire life hiding from their conscience and go to their grave without ever having come to terms with it. It poisons them of course, but it doesn’t stop them from attaining conventional ‘success’.

    I often wonder how many people who seem so driven in their careers are really running from a fading voice inside. They say a high proportion of successful politicians and corporate executives are psychopaths and what is a psychopath if not someone who has escaped his conscience.

    • Indeed. What is a psychopath if not someone who has escaped his conscience. Except, there really is no escape.
      I believe… In the last moments, everything just settles. Peace comes. Human surrenders, submits. Conscience wins. Ego, Super ergo, Id; all align. Just something I like to believe. But that peace too is probably not exactly peaceful. I’m confusing myself now.

      • I believe… In the last moments, everything just settles. Peace comes. Human surrenders, submits. Conscience wins. Ego, Super ergo, Id; all align. Just something I like to believe.

        I know that when I got tangled in the rigging of a capsized catamaran and nearly drowned it got very peaceful just before I passed out. Waking up in hospital with my lungs on fire from the pumped out seawater wasn’t so peaceful though.

        But I like to believe that in the last moments you lose the illusory distinction between yourself and the universe. Conscience, ego, super-ego and id all evaporate as they are all facets of what you imagine makes you different to everything else.

        Conscience, I think, is just one of the effects of the conceit that you are separate to the universe and act upon it (and it acts upon you). With the distinction dissolved there is no more sin, guilt or conscience than, say, your burnt finger would be culpable for sending pain signals to your brain. A return to the state of pure innocence that preceded The Fall, if you like.

        The father of a Muslim friend of mine in Sri Lanka was dying in a lot of pain while I was there. His son, Naji, explained to me that he refused pain-killers because he believed the pain was his sin being burned away so he was fit to be in the presence of Allah. According to Naji his father was in physical agony but his soul was at peace. I have no idea whether this complies with Islamic doctrine but it struck me as being a beautiful way of making sense and meaning from otherwise pointless suffering.

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