Soulless

She cried and cried, for no one knows how long. It was as if she was crying her soul out. It doesn’t take long for a person to cry out their pain, their heart. But crying out a soul is different. It requires a deliberate effort, to push the tears out- each with a wisp of soul in it. Until there’s no more soul left; all cried out. That is when, although tears still remain, the person becomes soulless- with no sensibility, beyond caring, beyond doing anything with intent.

So when she cried so hysterically for so long, people thought she was crying her soul out. So that she would not care anymore for whatever came her way. She knew though, she could never cry it out; not her soul. The sensibility of everything was too great to lose. Even if she lost everything, she would not give that up.

Her soul was the one thing left free still. Her mind was occupied, her heart captured. Her actions were controlled, her sight and hearing channeled. But beyond all of this, was her soul- the one thing they couldn’t get to. The one thing that would be hers for ever, until He took it back. Because it was really His. She was just given it for safe-keeping, for a mere two hours.

And she was trying to keep it safe, so she could return it as pure as it was when she got it.

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4 thoughts on “Soulless

  1. And she was trying to keep it safe… well.

    I love this post. Each word of it resonates. But soulless? Was she really soulless? .. she won’t give that up! 🙂

    “But crying out a soul is different. It requires a deliberate effort, to push the tears out- each with a wisp of soul in it.”
    Beautiful lines, Moniba. This and that channeled one, that they couldn’t get to that one thing; the soul.
    Some writings are just so beautifully put that even if they speak about pain and sufferings, they are loved. It’s because they strike those chords, they become somehow relate-able, and because they’re so honest in expression.

  2. And she was trying to keep it safe, so she could return it as pure as it was when she got it.

    According to Avicenna (Ibn Sina) the soul you get isn’t very pure. It contains the vegetative principle (growth, reproduction) and animal principle (motion, sensation, desire) and is the driving force behind evil (the an-nafs al-ʾammārah).

    The pure soul (an-nafs aṣ-ṣāfīyyah) is attained (or refined) via mutmainna, which to me at least resembles the Buddhist attainment of extinction of desire.

    When I was in Sri Lanka I met a man who was dying of cancer the hard way. He was taking a bare minimum of pain killers, mainly to appease his family, but still bearing a lot of pain.

    His son, my friend Naji, explained to me that he felt the pain was a purification process that burned the sin and dross from his soul so that it was fit to be in the presence of Allah. I don’t know if that’s consistent with orthodox Islamic theology but I thought it was a beautiful way to give meaning to suffering.

    • Here, I wasn’t talking about purifying the soul through pain, but yes that is one idea. Though as far as I know, Islam does not ask or even recommend one to bear physical pain for the sake of purification. It is, however said that if a Muslim does go through pain for good, or if he falls sick, it burns his sins.

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